Hello All

I am sooo sorry. Moving to Vermont was 100x harder than I ever imagined. I haven't posted in like three months and I am intensely intensely sorry!

So yes....I have moved, we are all safe and sound here in Vermont. My parents were not happy to see me go but they knew it was for the best. My sister's boyfriend has been unseen and unheard of in the past two months. My sister FINALLy got sick of his psychoticness and let him go.

Vermont is beautiful, and with the snow so close to the clouds, the pack is VERY excited.

But...I have some weird news that may...shock you all. Don't worry nothing bad is happening. Danny and I are still together. We're going to be married in December. But oddly that is not the news...the news is (drumroll please) I'm...Pregnant. Yes it is true, 100% true actually. When we moved to Vermont I began feeling a little funny but I figured it was part of the move. When that feeling did not end I had Apollo (Who is still traveling with us) examine me...and it is true.I will not know what I am having until he/she is born.

I am VERY excited and so is Danny, he's hoping it's a little girl (I am too)

I am sorry but I do not have the time to read all of the posts from YOUR blogs i missed in the last months. So please, comment and tell me how life is! I miss you all dearly!
-Tony

Noe's Questions

Hello, Noe. It is wonderful to finally meet you. Take care of Artemis, it is strange but I tend to worry about her and Bella quite often.

1. I believe werewolves originated in Russia (or whatever it was hundereds of years ago.) How they were created is something that's quite controversial among the race. Our version is Titled under the Story of Werewolves, I couldn't get the link to work and it's quite far back in the posts.

2. The leader of each individual pack is Alpha or Alphess. Lucian Axel is the leader of the Midwest region of the United States, he pretty much keeps the peace. Not many packs ever come in contact with him.

3. The life span of werewolves is something else that's quite controversial. What we've noticed is that we tend to live for hundreds and hundreds of years, if not forever. (Personally I believe it's forever) Benny hasn't changed in the 5 centuries he's been alive so I believe we live forever.

4. Powers...well, some wolves have different abilities. I've yet to meet any that can produce comicbook - esque powers like lightening and fire but, I've met wolves that can influence the people around them, read minds, see dreams, heal wounds, and I've met one...who could remove her soul from her body and enter another body and experience what they were experiencing. It was quite frightening.

5. When werewolves die it is said that their souls join Torr in the sky. Their bodies are usually burned on a large funeral pyre. And the pack sits vigil for the night so that the body is not disturbed and the sould can make the voyage from earth to sky.

If you have anymore questions let us know. We'd be happy to answer them.

Changing Views

Artemis, your one post earlier about the break in, reminded me why I started this blog. It was to talk about the life of a werewolf. And as it's slowly progressed we've all experienced things that are hard to understand.

When I was human I was very level headed, I wasn't racist or predjudice or anything like that. I accepted all. I didn't realize that I was a rarity among humans. After being changed into a wolf and watching as Zombies were re-Born, I realized how horrible the world is. They hate things they don't know. Humans do. And NO, I'm not talking about all humans. But sadly it is most. They cower in fear at something that is more powerful. Like we can't control ourselves.

Then they set out to destroy us, Zombies, Vampires, Werewolves, etc. All myths. They set out to destroy us because we are stronger. They know it. And they don't want to believe that there is something out there that is stronger than they are. Because in their minds, the only "Greater being" is a god that doesn't exist. (In my opinion)

They are narrowminded, it's true. After all of this, this chaotic mess of my life. I realize that there is no way to please everyone and be yourself. I am undead proof that humans fear what is greater, and I cheated my way out of that one too.

-Tony

Too much

*sigh* I think I am much worse at posting now that I am dead than I was before! So sorry everyone. Very sorry. I have a lot to talk about, mostly the newcomers. And I'll get to them in a bit. First off, to Artemis, I am thrilled you are alright. We were all so worried about you and I'm glad the healers came in handy. I knew you were a special creation and now you know it too.

As for the new members. The three 19 and 20 year olds from Amarillo. Cray, Ace, and Wiss. No these aren't their real names, but they are the names they've been calling eachother for years. They fit in wonderfully with the pack. Everyone loves them.

But adding new members has made my decision to move to Vermont. I've already talked to the rest of the pack and they agree. We'll be in Vermont by the end of the month.

Now someone tell me exactly how you get 21 teenagers and all their belongings from Ohio to Vermont without it looking suspicious...?

-Tony

Summerrrrr

Oh, I am so very glad it's summer. No more school or nosy teachers. I'm done and so through with it. *sigh* there is some good news though: I was emailed yesterday by three werewolves living in Amarillo Texas. They've been reading the blog for quite sometime and wanted to make the journey up here to join the pack. They were all bitten werewolves from all over Texas and they ended up together, they're all 17, really nice, all guys. They should be arriving in the next couple of days. I'm very very excited and so is the rest of the pack.

How is everything in the outside world?
Tony.

A Burden

Hey everyone. Sorry I've been so lazy on posting, I have more time now but I never get the chance to post. Really...it's been hectic here and I've been so busy, they all expect me to know what I'm doing.

Not the pack, of course, they see that I'm dealing with a lot and they just ask me to do my best. But everyone else, the living, expect me to be some sort of role model for the undead world. I'm the only Zombie in my area...so far anyway. They want more to come. They keep pushing me into the spot light like I'm a celebrity and I hate it. My life has always been a secret and now I'm living two lives.

I'm thinking of dropping out of school, I can't take it anymore.
I'm also seriously thinking about moving the pack, somewhere quieter, where the younger (and still living) ones can continue school, and we can grow. I didn't realize that death would be so hard, I didn't realize what it would bring on me and my pack.

If you have any suggestions where to move to, they'd be greatly appreciated.
~Tony

Flesh Eating Monster

Before...before I died I was used to being hidden. A shadow amongst shadows with secrets I would die to protect. No one really knew of who I was or rather...what I was. And now, after death has forced me to life again, people KNOW. They know I'm a zombie, I'm undead, I'm a corpsicle, whatever. That much is blatantly obvious. But I'm not used to people knowing. It frightens me.

I saw my sisters boyfriend only yesterday, he screamed when he saw me. Muttering that it was impossible. Only I heard. Outside of the pack no one believes he is the one who murdered me. But he was there. I know it.

Even as the undead the laws of mortals still bind us. Though they don't protect us. Danny wishes to take his life. An eye for an eye, I suppose you could say. But I would rather not, why bring us into the spotlight? Why put us up for suspicion.

Though I don't wish to kill him, I want him to realize that there is no getting rid of me. Torr wants me here and I am. I have my pack to take care of. I want him to feel what I felt, not pain, not the agony I felt, but the horrible things that went on in my mind as I lay in the stages between life and undeath.

Artemis...? How are things with Apollo?

Let me know.
-Tony

Oh My My My

Well, hellooooo. It's been quite a while...about a month actually, since I've written. How horrible since I've got all this time on my hands. Goodnessssss. Anyway. Life...(hehe sorry couldn't stop myself.) Un-dead life is pretty good. Things with Danny are great, Lucian Axel came to visit, and I told my parents about my death. They were freaked...obviously. But I must say that they handle weird quite well.

When my sister told her boyfriend about me and my death....he became a little more frightened of me. GOOD.. He should be scared.

When Lucian came to visit he told me that I'm a miracle of the greatest rank in the realm of werewolves (so the council says) and Torr has been visiting me in my sleepless dreams. It's incredible. Who knew death would bring you closer to a god?

I went to Prom with Danny. It was amazinnnggg. My dress was beautiful and Danny was striking in his black tux. It was extremely funn. Hope all is well in the mortal realm??

-Tony (werewolf, alphess, and cheater of the hands of death.)

To Die or Not to Die

I was officially declared a zombie by my school...so that was relatively interesting. I went in and the nurse checked me over and they were so excited about their first undead student. I can't say I'm not surprised by the school's reaction...I thought they'd either not notice or shun me because our town is so small that change is just like the apocolypse. The pack is super supportive and with them nothing has changed. Danny has finally calmed down and he doesn't care that I'm undead since we live forever anyway. But I'm worried...about having a child. I don't think it's possible...but i'm not sure so we'll skip that topic for the moment.

Being undead is...weird. I miss sleeping...There are times where I zone in and out of active consiousness...but I haven't slept since I "died" I don't HAVE to eat but it's almost just a reaction, I'm never hungry anymore. It's amazing the time you get when you dont' have to eat or sleep. I've worked on a story...my life story...oddly enought this blog is in it. *sigh*

I'm just not sure. This is all so confusing.
It's like being bitten all over again, adjusting to a new lifestyle and I just don't know.
If any of you have any advice...please let me know.
-Tony

Death has not been cruel

Hey Everyone. Tony here. And I KNOW you guys have been freaking out about what happened. It's okay because I'm fine. Being...undead isn't so bad. I was already a werewolf might as well make me a weird werewolf (who knew that was possible?!) I'm still the same me...just without a heartbeat. It's amazing. I don't sleep now...which is really weird. I just kinda zone in and out, it's amazing all the things you miss when you're asleep!

I really appreciate you guys supporting me through all this. Z has been awesome keeping you updated, honestly I don't know how they've put up with me. You guys rock.

Being so close...to not returning...it's scary. It makes me realize that though my life has been short, I regret nothing. Everything is perfect. I have the coolest friends and my pack is my world. There's no need to worry about me anymore. I'm back and better than ever. I've really missed being able to post and talk to you guys. Danny is still a little over protective but I guess i can't really blame him.

How've you all been? Missed you tons!
-Tony.

Many many things

Hello again bloggerites. I apologize for my poor posting skills. It's a wonder that Tony still allows me to post. Speaking of Tony she's doing wonderful, almost perfectly back to health. She's walking...eating, talking, she's up for the same amount of time as everyone else. But...there's something about her that has scared us to the depths of our souls. She has no heart beat. NONE. It is absolutely silent. With no heartbeat there is no bloodflow so her skin is never warm and not really cold...it's room temperature. She can still change, which was amazing. She changed for the first time two weeks ago. It was amazing, seeing her in wolf form again. But...the heartbeat...there isn't one. She cut herself on a knife and the wound healed as fast as it would've before...but we think...we think Tony is actually a Zombie. The way we've heard descriptions of people coming back to life is precisely what tony went through. Apollo thinks she came through it faster because she is still a werewolf. It's amazing. I read both of the Generation Dead series by Daniel Waters. Tony's pretty much the same as before, no heart beat of course, and there's something in her eyes. They went from gray blue to this pale icy blue. We think she's the first zombie werewolf. We need advice. What do you guys think?
--Z

Catching up

I realize it's been a while since I've updated. Things have been very very hectic and the time just hasn't come. Tony is doing amazingly well. She started walking again last week, she's talking perfectly and she's gotten to the point of yelling at Danny for being over protective of her progress. January 16 we celebrated Tony's 16th birthday. She was awake for it. It was wonderful. Yesterday she and danny watched a movie at the house and she is doing really really well. She has yet to see her parents, she's talked to them on the phone and such but nothing person to person. Mainly because of the scars she'll always have now. There's one scar...it runs across her right cheek...the silver in the blade messed up the tissue enough to leave a scar...so there are scars all over her.

She's doing really really well though. I'm sorry I haven't been very good about posting her progress. But I hope you would understand the situation.
-Z

So much time so many posts

Hello everyone, It's Z. Again. My apologies for not being faster on posting, but reason is because things are getting crazy...again. Tony opened her eyes for the first time the middle of this week, then the next day and the next day for longer periods. She smiled today, and it was amazing to see her smile. She was awake for a whole hour. So she's coming out of it, she's rising up. Since Tony's doing better Danny still...isn't. He's the same as he was, constantly with her, getting zero sleep, irritable, crazy temper. **sigh**

Artemis, the elders...OH, you mean those Tony talked of in posts that seem ancient. The elders are the oldest and wisest of the werewolf nation. Among them are some of the most powerful ones that have the site to Torr. The group itself is old order, they enjoy keeping things the way they've been since forever ago. And they do a pretty good job at it.

The council...do you mean the council of elders? Run by Lucian? Well...they are like...parlaiment or congress. They make rules and laws, they keep things peaceful between races. They have a big job. And it the many centuries we've been alive they've been the ones to keep things orderly. If you've read the Twilight series they are much like the Volturi. But not as brutal. Lucian I guess would be Aro...he might dislike me for saying so though.

-Z.

Simply Lost

Artemis I'm glad you are beginning to understand the world of Torr. I read your post, we all did actually, and we just wanted to tell you that no matter what your cousin said Paul (paul, right?) is your father. A father is not judged by whom you were...ermm...created, it's by the man that raised you and loved you and took care of you. Your father made you who you are today, never misconceive that.

Tony is doing no better, but also no worse which is deffinately a positive I suppose.

As for Torr: He does everything for the wolves, he chooses the ones that become werewolves and chooses how. Some werewolves...well...they see him, he comes to them in there most troubled times, when he is needed most, and he helps them. He gives them advice. But if a lycan has this power, they aren't supposed to tell ANYONE about it, unless it is a dire situation. We all believe that Tony has the Sight, but we can't be sure, and you never ask if one has this power because it is rude and the sight is a connection to our god.

As for other gods, different packs worship in different ways. Torr is the major one, of course, but there are others. Some packs worship the gods of rome or greece while others worship the same God as humans. It all depends on where your beliefs lay.

z.

No sleep in days

It's been days since Danny has slept, he refuses to leave her side. She started moving saturday early morning, she groans and tosses her head around occasionally. Last night though, she screamed, this awful ear peircing terrified scream that we are sure Torr started howling in the sky. Her heart beat is a little stronger, not much. We've no idea what else to do.

Artemis, I'll post a bit about Torr every now and then. To start with he's been a god as long as anyone can remember, most pictures depict him as an all black wolf with a white crescent moon on his chest and black raven like wings. The story is told that he was alpha of a pack in europe and the people in the town knew what he and his pack were. People began getting killed, mauled by some animal and the town immediately blamed Torr and his pack. So the town came to attack he and his pack, Torr made a deal with the leader of the town, that if they only killed him he would go peacefully and the killings would stop. The town leader agreed, Torr was sacrificed on the night of the full moon. It is said that with his last words he looked up at the full moon, tilted his head back and said "May the moon drown me in it's depths so the pain will make me remember the mistakes I have made. With faith in my pack and sorrow in my heart I shall never regret what I do, for if my pack lives, I shall live. I give myself to thee, moon, for I die for you." And as his soul left the earth and they killed him with a sword made of pure silver, he was granted to the moon as a god. The killings stopped and the town and pack lived in peace.

Any specific questions about Torr?
Any questions about Tony?
Any advice for Danny?
Let us know.
Z.

Pack

Artemis your questions are understandable and not annoying in the least. In fact they've given us a little bit of time to reflect on who we really are rather than on the fact that our Alphess is basically in a coma.

Healers are all sorts of different races, there's a witch who's been really helpful, an elf that's making all sorts of medicine for Tony, and a fairy who seems to be everywhere at once. Healers usually have a greater understanding of medicines and herbs, naturally, god given. Not everyone can be healers, but the great healers are hard to find.

Alphas become Alpha because of multiple reasons: Leadership, how can you lead if you're a follower? You can't. Compassion, towards all creatures. Trust, in your pack. Size has nothing to do with it, Tony became Alphess and she certainly wasn't the biggest, but she's everything wanted in an Alpha.

Sadly the knife thing won't work, her blood was already all over the knife and it drowned out the scent of anything else. She was in the woods when it happened, walking to her parents house.

Nothing has changed, we grow more and more anxious every day. I've never seen someone so heartbroken as Danny.

Do you have any questions about Torr that we could answer?
-Z.

Update Update Update

This is getting out of control, nothing has happened, no change or anything. We've been trying to track those who hurt Tony but we've yet to find them. But we will, it is our mission to find them.

Artemis we read your comments and are astounded that your old pack was nothing like ours. In our pack...there is nothing we wouldn't do for eachother, especially for Tony. It's driving us insane that we don't know what to do to help her. But there are plenty more packs we can turn to, many are good friends of ours but we won't put them in danger. There's healers from all over the country trying to help Tony in someway, but there's been no change.

Anyone have any questions?
-Z.

Keep Up Posting - update from Z.

...Nothing has changed. Nothing at all. There is nothing for us to do, we are lost. Utterly and completely lost. Our entire world is at a stand still. Since this is such a crucial time for waiting and hoping I figured I'd just keep you updated. ARTEMIS, checked out your comment and blog. First off, No. We know who ever hurt her was the same people that had been sending us those notes. And we THINK Tony's sister's boyfriend has something to do with it. And WHY would they do that? Simple enough. Because humans like the ones that attacked her believe that Humans are the most superior creatures. Since we are not human. We are a threat. Since we are more powerful than they. They believe that their god would never put something so threatning on earth. Nor something that could take the humans out. Get my meaning? It's so ridiculous.

I apologize if I sound a little bitter, my alphess is only in a coma, half dead, attacked by psycho sadistic humans. I shouldn't be bitter, should I? (Yes that was sarcasm.)

Oh and one of us will explain in another post more about torr. You asked.

-Z.

I will KILL THEM.

They attacked her! They attacked her, my girl, that freaking sick group attacked Tony! I think I might hurl I'm so angry. It was late last night, Tony got a call from her parents and she was walking to see them, they attacked her. She's out...not even responding to anything. she's hardley breathing and her pulse is barely audible.

I'm shaking so bad. I can't even sit still for long. I am so angry so disgusted-

Sorry everyone. I took over the computer, this is Z. Danny's having problems controlling himself right now, which is completely understandable. We're all sick. We are on the verge of tears, our powerful alphess now lay in the hands of Torr. It's horrible. You should see her, we found her...oh god it was terrible. She was stabbed over and over with a blade made purely of silver, we found the blade still in her chest. We didn't think silver hurt werewolves but now we're thinking if it touches an open wound it begins poisoning from the inside out. She's covered in bruises and scratches. It's disgusting. Lucian Axel is here, as is Apollo. And they called in the best healers that could be found. We are all trying our hardest.

We figured we'd tell you about this, so if you're a lycan, please be careful. I'm almost crying now, which is hard for me to admit, so I should be going. Danny is so angry and frustrated. Today he smashed a window in his room, and whenever he sits by her he cries. He's trying not to think that she may not make it. But we all know it's a possibility. And Benny, he's trying to be strong for the pack but the tears are in his eyes. We all have the same thing on our minds. But we're all fighting for her.

Send your thoughts to Danny. Any advice to help him through this would be great. Send your prayers to Tony. She needs as much hope as she can get right now.

-Z.

So not the Holiday Spirit.

Hey everyone. Tis' the season for cheer and happiness right?! Well aparently not for psycho killer freaks who have a fetish for writing letters to a pack of wolves! Our latest letter from...well we still don't know who

Hello Demons. Our new years resolution, we have but one, is to terminate that disgusting thing you all call a pack. Your precious Alphess is first. Happy holidays. For these will be your last. See you soon, monsters.

How cheery is that?! I'm so sick of these people

-Tony.